Family Life

The Frightful Fives

How sweet… Like butter wouldn’t melt

We all experience them.
My 5 year old didn’t actually have the “Terrible Two’s”, “Threenager” or much of a “Fournado” really. We felt so lucky.
Here I was with a beautiful little boy who had manners and listened to me… most of the time. Blissfully unaware of there ever being an age of full on tantrums after 4 years old!
We didn’t have tantrums in public, no melt downs over dinner, not much screaming or running away that i can remember. He would be cheeky and had a bit of an “I can do it my way” attitude but nothing that made me want to scream or tantrum with him!

Like what!!!! No one warned me of the frightful frigging fives!
I know the few changes have definately caused the tantrums to appear -having his brother, moving house (at the same time… don’t ask how we did it!! Its all a blur) and he started school in September.
I can imagine for a 5 year old this is a lot but the tantrums are nothing we have experienced before.
Full on willful resilience, disobedience and the utter defiance.

Everything can end up either being a fight, him shouting, whining, resisting or crying! I mean literally i brace myself now, as i know its coming.
He can walk out of school with a look on his face which tells me… “oh crap what now? i can’t deal with Mr Moody Pants today!”

So this week we have had tantrums over –
Brushing teeth – because apparently he did them last night and so that means he doesn’t need to do them tonight as well!?
Getting dressed – He says he is OK with going to school in his underwear!!
Going home from the park – apparently we can live there now!?
Not understanding the word NO!
and … being the fountain of knowledge that needn’t be told anything because of course he already knows it all!!

It can totally make me reach for the wine…. chocolates and possibly cake at the end of the day when the boys go to bed.
Some days i want to pull my hair out, some days i have a 5 minute breather in the bathroom and some days i just feel a bit beaten and fed up and say “oh ok son do that if you want to, mummy doesn’t know what else to do!”
Because it’s ok not to be a wizard for every situation that is thrown at you…honest!
It is embarrassing carrying a 5 year old over your shoulder out of the park while he is screaming NO NOOO I Dont’ want to go home!!!
But i tend to smile at on lookers, when you think – they were a kid who played up their mum once – it makes it all a bit easier!

However, Not forgetting the days i do feel like i’m winning rather than winging. Those days come with us possibly over using the naughty step, it seems to work at the time and we do make him sit there for a full 5 minutes (because he is 5 – one minute per year of age – I didn’t watch super Nanny for nothing!)
We also try removing the use of his tablet and his treats after evening meals. I do think if we keep doing these too often he will get used to them.

I have to admit, we also looked at how we reacted to his behaviour when bad and good and realised he could do with a better reception on both.
I noticed we were quick to raise our voice when he wasn’t behaving well and we have both decided to talk firm but in a lower voice.
When he is good i have always praised him but i think he wants a bit more than my words, he wants full recognition, full eye contact and he is quite tactile. I have been doing more of this to, giving him more cwtchs (hugs), more kisses and looking at his “art” work.
I have been totally guilty of pretending to look sometimes because i am doing about 3 other things when he says “look mummy i made this”

Hopefully the Frightful Fives will end one day and here’s hoping we wont get a sassy six year old!

Jay Xx

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